Read your spam. For the modern man, there is no point in downloading the Tinder app, signing up for match.com, joining It's Just Lunch, or asking a buddy to introduce you to his really cute sister. There are abundant opportunities for love ready to break down the door; it's just a matter of knowing where to look. And your email spam folder is where it's at. As evinced by the recent subject lines of my current batch, a world of excitement awaits. Said subject lines are abnormally long but it's a small price to pay for their creative value. What follows is a sampling of them - spelling mistakes and all - along with my reactions:There is something exhilarating in my goblet and my tongue is on the loose
(That is exhilarating.)
Didn't you feel movement in your pants for some time?
(#petweasel)
Once I found the film my parents were hiding in the shelf.
(It was probably shot on VHS.)
You looks like my ex.
(You looks like my ex, too. And that's not a compliment)
I love man to be powerful and rude
(You're in luck.)
Where did you put my underwear?
(On my head.)
You will answer me or I will leave.
(Don't let the door hit your a** on the way out.)
