I was consulting for a terrific online service that acts as a conduit between models and their agents. The VP and his eager, new Marketing Manager were giving promotional materials a complete facelift. They were kind enough to solicit my feedback. I went through and did some touching up on content; wording, organization, and how it all framed a new image. The only real point the three of us debated were the choice of accompanying pictures. One high-fashion model shot, in particular, bothered the hell out of me. In my feedback notes, I included the brief tale that such a picture would surely conjure in the mind of prospective clients:
"Nosferatu the Vampyre woke from an uneasy slumber. Boney Luv, his latest emaciated and subservient succubus, stood over his fetid casket. "My Lord," she whispered "I have dutifully completed my modeling course at John Casablancas." "Excellent, excellent!!!" the dark god hissed. "During 'Remedial Posing 101'" she continued, "I learned how to throw T2 and T3 out of wack and hyper-extend my Anaconda-like neck. And now, Dark One, I give it to you as a supplicant's offering." Nosferatu the Vampire bit hungrily, only to find the taste of fen-phen running through her veins..."
