Inescapable

As night grows deeper,

The gut fills with panic

That cannot be attributed to anything.

What it arises from

Is a sea of mystery

With the vague outline of beasts

Lying in wait at the bottom.

Come daylight,
The terror will be
Stolen from memory,
Only to be experienced anew
When the moon comes calling.

On the rare occasion that

The subconscious allows us remembrance

Of the night before,
We dismiss ourselves as silly.

But upon leaving the party,

As the voices die down at your back,

As the sound of key unlocking your door

Echoes throughout the apartment,

As you brush your teeth in the mirror

As if being given your last rites,

When you surrender and lie in bed

Vulnerable and perfect prey,

Something returns.

It finds you.

It taunts with the terror of its being

Without ever revealing what it really is.

And fear without revelation of the cause

Is insidious double-damage.

Is this looming terror

Behind the frenzy of sacred ceremony at night?

Is this why people pray when the sun is lost,

Attend midnight mass,

Burn sage and cedar in an Inipi ceremony

Or attend a loud rock concert which

Drowns out the inner noise

And brings us together with a community of others

Also looking to escape through the music?

Is this what a nightcap is meant to fend off?

Is this what sex and lovemaking is meant to subvert

If practiced diligently and long enough?

Is it called the “graveyard shift”

Because shelves are stocked while

Demons salivate behind you

And ghosts roam the aisles?

Is the late, late picture show a final chance to buy time

Before The Unnamed must be confronted?

Western society and medicine itself

Provides excuses for what is really going on.

That’s how scared we are.

That’s how unfamiliar the territory is.

After all,

You’re not wanting to run away from something inside yourself:

You have restless leg syndrome

You are not afraid of the haunting truth your dreams remind you of:

You simply have insomnia

You are not struggling to breath amidst nameless horror

You have sleep apnea.

It is said that

“The only way out is through.”

So what is required?

What is called of us?

And why is the path as elusive

As the threat itself?

When the bully of night is back,

Is there anything beyond cowardly avoidance?

Take talisman, holy water, mantra, and psychopharmalogical placebo.

Recite the “Prayer of Chairs”

In which an endless number of them

Form a protective barrier around you

In all directions

For as far and wide as the echo of three claps can travel.

Bring your hands together thrice.

Make your palms burn.

Only Allah in all His beneficence

Is big enough

To fell this opponent.